


via subconcious

by librah



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 17:07:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4713812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/librah/pseuds/librah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The universe has a weird way of punishing Lauren Jauregui.</p>
            </blockquote>





	via subconcious

**Author's Note:**

> pining camren fic because i hate myself

Lauren’s been having about the same dream for four nights in a row. By the third night she begins to suspect that maybe it might just mean something.

–

The dreams weren’t the exact the same. The only constant was actually Camila Cabello. Her cute and lovable best friend Camila Cabello who’s bubbly and wonderful and beautiful and everything Lauren could ever want. That one. The Camila Cabello that the delusional fans would always pair her up with and write dumb stories about.

 _Well_ , she thinks, _they’re not exactly that delusional._

The first night wasn’t bad. On the first night it was just her and Camila doing whatever it is they usually do outside her dreams. They were hanging out in Camila’s bunk then the dream changed and they were laughing outside a venue then it changed again and they were laughing about something on some couch somewhere. She could even have mistaken it as one of her memories. When she woke up she even thought it was a good thing because it was a break from the nightmares she usually gets. She might have spoken too soon.

The second night was okay, too, but another person showed up. Austin was hanging out with the girls and that was when Lauren was definitely sure this was just a dream because him and Camila were acting as coupley as they were when they were dating. Even though she was aware that it was a dream, though, she couldn’t help but feel at least a little jealous because it brings up too much memories that she wishes she could erase from her mind.

The third night was when things got a little complicated and well--frustrating. It was much like her first dream; them lying down in Camila’s bunk with minimal space between them because neither of them wanted the other to fall off. They were watching some kind of movie that Lauren doesn’t remember the name of and neither of them were really paying attention. They were both just kind of wrapped up in each other and they were so close she could hear Camila’s breaths synchronize with her’s until Lauren breaks the silence with words she knows she’ll never actually say in a million years.

Waking up, Lauren notes that dream-her has more courage than real-her could ever have.

Lauren knows dreams have some kind of hidden meaning behind them. She has a tumblr for god’s sakes. She’s seen many different types of tumblr posts about dreams and what they mean, or some quote from one of the many aesthetic blogs that she follows about love and dreams and dreaming about love and _blah blah blah_. Nevertheless, she genuinely believes that dreams are from the universe trying to tell you something. But if all the universe is doing is reminding her about her feelings for Camila, then the universe needs to fuck off because she’s basically reminded of that every passing minute of her existence. Okay, she might be being a little dramatic, but whatever, she’s nineteen and she gets to be dramatic.

Lauren likes to think she’s a good actress. She’s been practically living with the girl that she’s kind of in love with and no one’s even noticed. (Okay, the fans don’t count) That’s why when morning comes, she thinks she’ll do fine enough to untangle the knots in her stomach when she sees Camila in the front lounge, earbuds in with a book in hand and a banana in the other. The girl hasn’t noticed her yet because she’s so wrapped up in her book and Lauren’s brain short circuits for a little bit and she freezes, not making any sound or indication that she’s there. She quietly backs out of the room and makes sure to close the door behind her.

She crawls back into her bunk and lets out the breath she was holding. _Well, so much for acting_ , she thinks. At least she knows her true calling was to be a singer.

She lies there until she hears one of the girls wake up and come out to eat and Lauren gets up and follows a few minutes later. _Okay, time for another approach to this situation_ , she thinks.

She walks into the front lounge and decides to not talk to anyone unless it’s absolutely necessary to. No one really questions her because they all know that sometimes they just have to give each other some space from time to time or else someone gets irritable and bickering between the girls ensues. The day ends and she thinks she did well besides a few minor mishaps.

(“You okay there, Lo? You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“Yeah, uh, I just… gotta go… pee.”)

That night, she lays in her bunk, trying to make sense of the dream. Her brain is more active at night anyways and there’ll be no distractions (Camila).

Maybe the universe is trying to tell her that Camila could maybe possibly feel the same way. She lets her mind explore that idea a little further.

Sometimes, when Lauren has a brief lapse of better judgement, she can’t help but get the feeling that maybe Camila could like her in the same way Lauren likes Camila. It usually happens when Camila does something small, like when they hold hands and Camila makes small circles with her thumb, or when she would subconciously play with Lauren's hands without even fully realizing what she's doing, or when she catches the younger girl in a good mood and Camila gives her a quick kiss on the cheek, or when Lauren would catch Camila staring at her from time to time and pretend not to notice, or when Lauren compliments her, and Camila, noticing how genuine it sounds, would do that cute thing where she looks at the ground with a blush on her cheeks and mumble out a barely audible ‘thank you’. Oh yes, it’s the little things that get to Lauren and cloud up any part of her that wants to see reason the most.

She usually snaps out of her delusions a few minutes later, though.

But could she? Is it really that impossible for Camila Cabello to have feelings for Lauren Jauregui?

 _Yeah_ , Lauren concluded. _Yeah, probably._

Exhausted from the performance earlier this evening, she lets those thoughts linger in her mind for a little while until she finally falls asleep.

On the fourth night, her dream was a little different from the other ones. And by a little different she means that they’re currently making out. Like, _making out_. Camila’s in control the entire time with her hands on her hips and yeah, she’s totally enjoying this.

The butterflies in her stomach are starting mosh pits and she wonders if this will be the death of her.

Lauren somehow vaguely recognizes the place they’re in as the couch in the dressing room of some venue. Dallas? Maybe Housto-– _okay_ , Camila pushes her down into the cushions and–- _oh, god_ –-she’s straddling her and now Lauren knows for sure that she will die like this.

Lauren wakes up with a small gasp. _Wow, thanks, universe,_ was the first thought that popped into her head.

She sits up as much as she can without her head hitting the top and checks the time-–3:12am. She lies back down into her pillow and shuts her eyes, wondering how the hell a dream could feel so real. She thinks about Camila’s hands in her hair and Lauren’s lips on her neck. Her bunk suddenly gets a little too hot for her liking.

Lauren can see her obituary now and all it says is: Lauren Jauregui was an amazing singer, daughter, sister, and friend who unfortunately died from a dream about making out with her best friend and bandmate because she’s so incredibly _hopeless._

“Lauren?”

Lauren’s eyes go a little wide at the sound of Camila’s small voice from the bunk above her’s. She hears some rustling and she guesses that Camila’s climbing down from her bunk. Lauren’s curtains open wide enough for her to see Camila, wearing her favorite sweater and her hair a mess, sitting cross-legged in front of her. Lauren doesn’t even need to clearly see her face to know that even Aphrodite herself would be jealous.

“I thought I heard you saying my name,” Camila says, her voice small and tired.

Lauren’s thankful for the dark because Camila would have seen her face turn into an embarrassing shade of pink. Like having a dream about making out with your best friend wasn’t enough, Lauren was actually moaning her name too.

“Is everything okay? You’ve been kinda distant these past few days and I know we’re supposed to give each other space when we need it, but I don’t know, I just–”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s nothing.” That came out a little too harsh for Lauren’s liking and she immediately feels bad for saying it like that.

“Oh. Yeah, okay. Sorry for waking you up.” Lauren can’t exactly make out her face, but she hopes she doesn’t look hurt or anything. Camila starts to make her way back up to her bunk.

Lauren wants to say something like, “Oh no, you didn’t wake me up, it’s okay.” But she finds herself unable to say anything at the moment. She lies there for a long time, just listening to Camila shift in her blanket from time to time. She guesses she isn’t the only one that’s unable to sleep tonight.

Lauren gets out of her bunk and stands to Camila’s. “Hey, Camz?”

“Mhmm?” She opens her curtains just a peek.

“Can’t sleep?”

She hears a sigh, and then, “No, not really.” She opens the curtains more and scoots further back into the wall. Lauren takes it as an invitation and comes to lie down besides her.

They lie there for a while and it kind of reminds Lauren of her dream. The dream where she tells Camila how she feels. She chuckles softly, thinking about the parallels this and her dream had and Camila asks what she’s laughing about.

“Nothing really, this just reminds me of a dream I had.”

“Aw, you dreamt about me?” Camila asks in her typical joking manner.

“No, I dreamt I was cuddling with Zac Effron, duh.”

“Hmph. Well, was he a better cuddler than me?”

“Hmm…” Lauren pretended to think about it for a few seconds. “I guess you could be better, but I’m not entirely sure.”

Even without light she could tell Camila was pouting. Lauren tried to hold back her smile.

“Of course you’re the best cuddler, you loser.”

“Really? Even better than one of the hottest guys in the known universe?”

“Yes, really.”

“Good.”

There was a long silence.

“You sleepy yet?” Lauren asks.

“No, you?”

“Not really.”

“You wanna go outside? Like, not _outside_ outside, but I mean just out of this bunk.”

“Yeah, sure.” Lauren was completely okay with the idea of not being merely centimeters away from Camila’s face in fear of doing something she’ll totally regret.

They get out and they talk. They talk quietly about past memories and funny stories about their friends and family and they talk about the future. The dim nightlight in the front lounge is the only source of light in the entire bus and they both secretly love how it illuminates one another and can’t help but steal glances at each other. They hold on to each other the entire time as if they get separated from each other for at least a fraction of a second, they’ll forget each other’s existences.

Camila yawns once again and Lauren laughs about how it’s, _“Like, your hundredth time yawning,”_ and Camila retaliates with, _“Well it’s like your millionth,”_ after Lauren yawns right after saying that.

They climb back into Camila’s bunk facing each other, but neither of them shutting their eyes. Lauren barely makes out the shape of Camila’s lips. The same lips that she dreamt of kissing about an hour ago. She briefly wonders if they’re as soft as they were in her dream.

“Lauren.” Camila says her name in a way that she’s never heard the girl say. She has heard Camila say her name so many different times and in so many different ways. She’s heard her say it happily, angrily, teasingly, and more, but she’s never heard the way it sounds like this. It was different. She liked it.

Lauren felt a shift. It's a weird way to describe it, but she thinks it's the only way she could explain it. Lauren felt a shift happen inside Camila and she knows Camila felt it too. It was like Camila is still Camila, but at the same time, she became someone else. She doesn't exactly know for sure what changed, but it was almost like the universe gave her a hint that she could actually sort of understand. She could feel it as well as Camila could; as if it was like their emotions became one for that exact second.

Or maybe she just really needs to sleep.

Camila puts a hand on Lauren’s waist to draw her in closer. Their eyes meet each other in the dark and someone’s breath hitches. Lauren isn’t sure if it was her’s or maybe it was Camila’s, but at this point her heart was racing too much to care.

If there was any light in the bunk, Lauren would have seen Camila staring at her with an intensity that matches the look on Lauren’s face. She could have seen Camila hesitate for a moment like she was about to say something or maybe even _do_ something. But instead she places a lingering kiss on Lauren’s forehead, and says, “Sweet dreams, Lo.”

It takes five seconds of silence for Lauren to get her heart to stop hammering (she counted) and answer back with “Yeah, sweet dreams.”

 Yeah, it’s moments like these that cloud up her mind and make her heart do things and make her want to ask the universe what it’s trying to tell her.

She shuts her eyes and wonders what she’ll dream of this time. After all, the universe has a weird way of punishing Lauren Jauregui.

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me on tumblr: bijauregui


End file.
